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Our goals are the same, our approaches of often different. Again, being one who's raising 4 boys, I see a huge difference in how my boys of various ages respond to my wife and myself. We provide different support, discipline, approaches.
Although this book has information and research, I find much of it anecdotal and question the methodology and sample sizes. I agree. As the father of 4 boys, I'm always looking for books that help with insight into raising strong men.
Which also leads for me, how kids need a mom and a dad. I will be returning this book and would recommend Bringing Up Boys, also found on Amazon as a good book for this type of subject. I also do not agree nor like the authors assertions that because society has grown more accepting of the gay lifestyle that this is okay for children and a natural environment for them to thrive.
The entire premise behind this book is that boys are different than girls.
I'm not saying every point he made was an exact science, but it struck a chord with me as a male because it fit with what I knew as a kid, and even what I know today to be true of myself.Some of his points are more general, such as boys being more spatially oriented, and task specific. I was more or less going to use it for reference, but I was suddenly confronted with a class that was almost entirely boys, and not just any type of boys but rowdy inattentive boys.I can see how a lot of reviewers have claimed that this book is sexist and lacks in scientific research. (and the same can be said for girls. But it does cover a lot of ground in one book. Normally I'm turned away by books that don't have solid scientific backing, but I work with kids and I can tell you.there's no exact anything, let alone science when it comes to understanding children. I am a male, but I don't have kids of my own (and no I'm not looking to lure any into my unmarked van). They need to know its ok to be themselves, because right now they don't know what to be. I made it everyone's "job" to be a kind friend to everyone, and it had a pretty instant effect on some of my more mean spirited boys.
As a male myself with a strong sense of my own childhood, I can tell you his observations are fairly accurate when it comes to the things that boys need in order to thrive. I bought this book for a quarter at a garage sale. There is a problem with young boys in this country, and one of the biggest issues is there is a major disconnect between the generations. I grew up not just with a father, but I was lucky enough to be the youngest of 4 generations of males in my family so I had a very strong sense of what it meant to be a part of something bigger than myself. Like I said, some of this stuff is common knowledge, and this book isn't breaking a whole lot of new ground.
I added more open spaces, and more table activities that required fine motor skills to move an object from one place to another, and once again it had a dramatic effect on settling the energy in the room. Boys need that. However women lately have been better at providing this for girls than the men have for boys) This book may not be hard science, but it's relate-able and usable information that, when you put adult biases and fears aside, is a valuable resource to anyone who works with or cares about the direction boys in our country are heading. I always had someone to look up to. And for those who are claiming he's sexist for even making distinctions in these area's, they need to do a little more research. I'm a preschool teacher, it's not necessarily the most masculine job, but I know that its ok to be male and work in a profession that is mainly dominated by females, and that's because I grew up surrounded by males of different generations who taught me and supported me as a person. I'm a preschool teacher and when I bought this book I can't say I actually intended on reading it.
I particularly liked the chapters on boys needing a tribe, and about the development of morals. In my case I had to make my class more task driven. This is where this book has been incredibly helpful because a lot of his points are heavily based on observation. I'm not for excluding any gender, but there are inherent differences between boys and girls and if you play to the strong suits of one or the other you're going to get a better effect.
well worth reading.The overwhelming thrust of this book is the need for boys to have a reference group around them - older men, dad's friends or colleagues, men in the neighborhood with little boys, men with older sons, older boys to take an interest in the little guy. By about page 115, I realized once again what a great dad my husband is. My first exposure to Gurian's theories was in the book "The Minds of Boys". He gives all kinds of credit to single moms, but offers plenty of caution there, too. "The Wonder of Boys" book builds on Gurian's research into brain chemistry and biology, specifically addressing some of the "wiring" that goes into making people's brains male or female.
198.There are not a lot of a-ha moments in this book, but it's a worthwhile read and a mind-opener. You can read about it on p. In his opinion, marriage is a profound social contract dedicated to the raising of children and needs support from society. 2)Gurian introduces a hierarchy of moral development and suggests using a "plus-one" system of discipline - analyze how your child's behavior is progressing, and then let the discipline be a stretch up to the next level. Courage and self-control, respectfulness and spirituality, love and nurturing, war and politics. For example, his chores are part of his mission to make the family home more comfortable. manliness. 1)Make a boy's responsibilities part of his MISSION.
Addressing the criticism that working specifically with "boy traits" leads to pigeonholing, Gurian points out that the book describes tendencies among boys and girls, not absolutes. My kids and I are really blessed.Two strong takeaways from this book. What COULD we do to support boy (and all kids) better. Note that not all these guys will be on exactly the same page, but they all have plenty to offer to boys and young men in terms of instruction in.well. While *all* boys need this sort of reference group, and the cover features three adorable middle-class kids, Gurian emphasizes the desperate need for poor, inner city, or fatherless kids to be around men.
Oh, and this guy *clearly* has mother issues. The text rambles and there is little empirical support for his theories. I agree with the other negative reviews. It's bizarre that this book has been so lauded.
Most of its evidence is based on scientific articles and there was little relating to anecdotal experience as being causal for there behavior, although anecdotes were used to illustrate a point. I highly recommend this book for those who are involved with boys and adolescents to help foster a solid foundation to be a well functioning adult. I found it very enjoyable to read. I have a three year old Grand son who is active but usually under control. This book brings an excellent understanding of why boys function the way they are.
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